Robert Thoren
Robert is a nice guy. Just ask. Robert is a hippie, Robert hates hippies. When Robert was young his legs grew so quick. Now Robert wears highwaters. Robert...really...likes to sleep. Robert makes food. His house smells like bacon and bourbon. Sometimes Robert picks up a camera and points it. Every once in a while Robert climbs a rock. Though rarely does he reach the top. Instead Robert shoots people. Sometimes people buy the people he's shot. Robert hates weddings. Robert claims to be a surfer. We never see Robert surf. Robert lives in Colorado. Robert owns no car. People laugh at Robert's scooter. Robert is probably taller than you. Robert says he's Irish, but so does everyone. Robert doesn't want to tell you where he's from. Robert feels like telling you that his socks don't match. Robert lets M&M's melt in his hand.