YO JOE!
Leave it to Joey Kid Kinder

Yo Joe!  What the hell happened to Luke “Gomez” Parady?  Wasn’t he our compadre and one of our best friends? -  Dave Graham

Comin with the ooohhhs and the aaahhwws…good lookin' out hommie!  What the hell did happen to that kid?! Straight up! I almost forgot about that guy…(pondering) Yeah, we grew up climbing with that Doot, RIGHT!! HAAAHH, Just Jivin’…That’s about as fresh as a nice, new pair of Scarpa Boosters ($ponsor$)…whuddup?!  A question about Gomez…it couldn’t get much better than that Son - feel me spit hot fire.
Gomez is alive and well. Its funny, but that Player is always sending stoopit hard, and with the quickness.  Though he has been missing from our little climbing world, hasn’t he?  I’m witchoo Dave…I haven’t talked to him in a minute either, but I was living back in the Boulder Bubble and this is the jump off…

Blonde Model:  Homeboy has a 6 foot tall, amazingly hot blonde girlfriend that’s a model! Like yo…Gomez’ girl Vanessa “V-Card” Compton…C’MOOONN!!
The girly has gotta be my man’s DREAM GIRL! Hold up for a sec…(Yelling) SHOUTS OUT TO ALL THE DREAM GIRLS OUT THERE!!! You all make us CRAZY-BIZARRE…and thass goooood.

“Fat Cat Theory”:  The dude lives life like a cat. Yeah that’s kinda weird sounding, but…f’real. He’s like a feline. Let me drop eardrum bombs…or should I say “optics bombs”?
Cats always seem to find their nooks and curl up in a completely carefree manner.  My roommate just got a cat and the thing does its own shit when and how it feels. The cat will be curled up on Chad, warm, comfy, and then flip-mode and go crap in its litter box without hesitating. It’s all about convenience and comfort. Yo! Gomez likes his comfort and convenience and thass no lie. I call it the “Fat Cat Theory”. The “Fat Cat Theory” stems from a few things. He has twin sisters that have always been there for Gomez to holler at when he is maxin’ on the couch and wants a drink. His parents ADORE his ass.  I have witnessed them wait on him hand and foot while he steady chills. Picture Gomez in a HUGE papasan chair with white fluffy pillows and servants fanning him while he sips some sort of expensive Wild Oats protein shake.Yeah (pause)…What the hell??!!! Moving forward…

Boulder, Colorado:  If you live or have ever lived in Boulder then you know what comfortable living is all about. It’s a utopia/bubble filled with beautiful rich people, landscapes, sprayers, rocks, Audis, parties, hot girls, trust-funders, pop-collars, punters, dudes wearing thongs, dog parks, GOSSIP, hiking trails, suckers, elitists, Hot Girlies, Abbey Smith, flowers, fluffy things, Alley Dorey wearing those bad-ass shorts, and all kinds of other shit you see in a fantasy land.  The food in Boulder is amazing too. The amount of Whole Foods and Wild Oats that dominate this piece makes me wanna twist a hippy’s cap back...and I’m not even a violent person.
You see, Boulder being all comfy-cozy, aids in Gomez’ feline tendencies. I mean, a place like that is like paradise, right?  It’s Never Never Land, its Disney Land!!! Hold up…Whuddup Erik Mushial and Al Diamond…nuff respect…
How the hell could Gomez even attempt to strive for anything else? He is content with everything he’s got going on - he is not tryin’ to blow up the spot.  THAT’S the “Fat Cat Theory”. Homeboy comes correct, but his Feline instinct kicks in and then it’s all over like Joe Brooks’ climbing career. GYEEEAHH!!!

Lots-u-luv Gomez…whatever you do kid…Dave and I got you’re your back. We just miss you man. YA HEAR THAT GOMEZ!!!???  We miss you!  You have always been our boy and always will be.  Anduuuhhh….HOLLER ATCHA DREAM GIRL FOR US! 

Andumout. 1.